Him alone is my fear for him alone is my delight

I was in the presence of my majesty when I started thinking about life outside him, how dreadful it is for those who do not host his presence, those who do not know him and the bliss of his union. All over the sudden this sudden fear and love of my majesty erupted from deep within me.

 In that time he reminded me of some of the teachings I heard when I was a kid they would preach a whole sermon on hell and traumatize you so much that you would get born again but because you still did not know him, once the night mares of the teachings are gone and you did not die the night after (They used to tell us how we might even be hit by a car while going home and may be go to hell because we are not saved, etc).life would continue as "normal".

 But once you know  his KINDNESS, TOLERANT and PATIENT  towards your sins, you can only repent and give yourself to his love (Romans 2:4)

After such a flashback and what I know now of this Jesus, his presence and how he loves me this is what I wrote:

" I do not fear hell because I do not fear the devil. What I fear and what I have come to delight in is the fear 

of my lord, is the fear of taking one step without him. fear of waking up one day and not desiring him more than I did the previous night. I fear getting used to the gifts he so lavishes on me and forgetting he is my ultimate gift, I fear offending the holy spirit by saying something so unholy in the presence of this holy friend that accompanies me every where I go and not feel convicted to repent. I fear ever taking his presence granted and creating idols for myself and moving away from my first love. 

Yes! I greatly fear ever separating myself from this mystery, the love union that a higher a price, he paid to adopt me in the family. I fear ever thinking that my performance can earn  me favor with him and forgetting what the cross has achieved. I fear taking his grace for granted while its an empowerment to a life of righteousness.

 I fear ever talking about anything else but Christ crucified, I fear ever fitting in any mans program or definition of who God  is or making any man of God an idol  when he has given me an access to the throne and on his mountains to be taught by him, I fear to ever be found in the council of the ungodly while his desire for me is to stand in his council. I fear to be possessed by anything else but his spirit and ever trembling at anything else but his word.

These I delight in doing, and anytime I find myself in fear of a life situation on earth, then I am reminded  of where I have not allowed him to perfect my trust in him, so I look up to him and he becomes I AM, and under his wings, he teaches me to draw from provisions of his names and under that covering, he whispers again "do not be afraid, if you want healing, step in and draw from me as Jehovah Rhapha etc.. but even more, know learn how engage me in that until divine health becomes part of you." And that moment my trust for him as my healer is perfected (as so are other needs) and I can not fear anything else that life throws at me any more. 

Everything he is, he has become that to me, how can I deny him all of me? A husband and wife makes their vows and promise to keep them, they love each other too much, they fear/dread ever separating so they delight in keeping their vows. He is the Bridegroom, the earthly marriage is just a shadow of what is to come, and of the husband and wife can delight in this, what about the bride who awaits for the coming bridegroom, the king of kings, majestic one?.

A bridegroom that has vowed to cover all my sins in love (1 peter 4:8)

"...lead me not into temptation and deliver me from evil" love so redeeming that even when I fail him, he lifts me up, set me upon himself as the rock and deliver me from every attack and temptations that comes on my way (Psalms 91:14, Mathew 6:13). 

pleasing him in everything I do and do not do is my goal, well done faithful one is what he desires to tell us every day, every month, every year as we walk in faithfulness  and on that day when we stand before him. 

All my delights are in him, his love for me is always perfect so I must keep my first love gate way open and pure for him alone to flow through and he is more than willing to grace me with this.

 HOW HE LOVES US

I BREATH YOU IN LORD

(c) 2013 Ann Wangari.