In the secret place...

After a weekend full of one bad news to another and thinking its over only to get more worse news, I stopped on my steps and realized that even in all this his peace and joy was so sovereign in every situation and I could only go on my face and weep so hard because first I thought; who am I that you love me so much even in my sufferings and the second concern was for those who do not know my JESUS as the prince of peace, where do they run to?. And out of it came the flow of this reality from within...

He satisfy my longings

The bliss of vulnerability only linger so sweet to those who have embraced the walk of freedom. To know the joy of laughter, the agony of sorrow, the streams of tears from one who has been broken only to be kissed back to wholeness by life himself, to bend so low, like a seed to be crushed till the oil flows but still have the inner cry for more of him even if it means more dying . 

The groaning in longing for eternity within to manifest, the awakened dreams to prosper, to share the hope of glory in me to the hopeless and for him to become their glory .His path to walk, his will to fulfill ,according to his purposes which may contradict my dying to self ego sometimes but even with that to fear grace and with gratitude choose the narrow path before me. 

Rest is in knowing the source of these streams is in him for its in him that I live, move and have my being. O the joy of knowing his whispers between the storms, the gently wave That says "this too shall pass" for it is in that moment when you remember that this is a journey and he is the way,the truth and the life. When you have beheld life himself fear becomes your past and in every storm you can only sing "it is well. .." as you wait for him to perfect every thing that concerns you♥.This is the glory in suffering...this is knowing the current situation can not be compared to the glory coming...he is good! 

This is the song he gave me after this through a friend: be blessed~ 

Him alone is my fear for him alone is my delight

I was in the presence of my majesty when I started thinking about life outside him, how dreadful it is for those who do not host his presence, those who do not know him and the bliss of his union. All over the sudden this sudden fear and love of my majesty erupted from deep within me.

 In that time he reminded me of some of the teachings I heard when I was a kid they would preach a whole sermon on hell and traumatize you so much that you would get born again but because you still did not know him, once the night mares of the teachings are gone and you did not die the night after (They used to tell us how we might even be hit by a car while going home and may be go to hell because we are not saved, etc).life would continue as "normal".

 But once you know  his KINDNESS, TOLERANT and PATIENT  towards your sins, you can only repent and give yourself to his love (Romans 2:4)

After such a flashback and what I know now of this Jesus, his presence and how he loves me this is what I wrote:

" I do not fear hell because I do not fear the devil. What I fear and what I have come to delight in is the fear 

of my lord, is the fear of taking one step without him. fear of waking up one day and not desiring him more than I did the previous night. I fear getting used to the gifts he so lavishes on me and forgetting he is my ultimate gift, I fear offending the holy spirit by saying something so unholy in the presence of this holy friend that accompanies me every where I go and not feel convicted to repent. I fear ever taking his presence granted and creating idols for myself and moving away from my first love. 

Yes! I greatly fear ever separating myself from this mystery, the love union that a higher a price, he paid to adopt me in the family. I fear ever thinking that my performance can earn  me favor with him and forgetting what the cross has achieved. I fear taking his grace for granted while its an empowerment to a life of righteousness.

 I fear ever talking about anything else but Christ crucified, I fear ever fitting in any mans program or definition of who God  is or making any man of God an idol  when he has given me an access to the throne and on his mountains to be taught by him, I fear to ever be found in the council of the ungodly while his desire for me is to stand in his council. I fear to be possessed by anything else but his spirit and ever trembling at anything else but his word.

These I delight in doing, and anytime I find myself in fear of a life situation on earth, then I am reminded  of where I have not allowed him to perfect my trust in him, so I look up to him and he becomes I AM, and under his wings, he teaches me to draw from provisions of his names and under that covering, he whispers again "do not be afraid, if you want healing, step in and draw from me as Jehovah Rhapha etc.. but even more, know learn how engage me in that until divine health becomes part of you." And that moment my trust for him as my healer is perfected (as so are other needs) and I can not fear anything else that life throws at me any more. 

Everything he is, he has become that to me, how can I deny him all of me? A husband and wife makes their vows and promise to keep them, they love each other too much, they fear/dread ever separating so they delight in keeping their vows. He is the Bridegroom, the earthly marriage is just a shadow of what is to come, and of the husband and wife can delight in this, what about the bride who awaits for the coming bridegroom, the king of kings, majestic one?.

A bridegroom that has vowed to cover all my sins in love (1 peter 4:8)

"...lead me not into temptation and deliver me from evil" love so redeeming that even when I fail him, he lifts me up, set me upon himself as the rock and deliver me from every attack and temptations that comes on my way (Psalms 91:14, Mathew 6:13). 

pleasing him in everything I do and do not do is my goal, well done faithful one is what he desires to tell us every day, every month, every year as we walk in faithfulness  and on that day when we stand before him. 

All my delights are in him, his love for me is always perfect so I must keep my first love gate way open and pure for him alone to flow through and he is more than willing to grace me with this.

 HOW HE LOVES US

I BREATH YOU IN LORD

(c) 2013 Ann Wangari.

  

A sword polished to consume, a lover on his Throne of grace longing to show mercy and the bride ...

Hey beautiful people!

I normally do not share visions and dreams in public but  there is this one in particular that happened (Open vision) on Friday while in night of prayer and worship(London Burn/4-09-2013) and it have been so heavy in my heart as it involves the whole body of Christ and he is okay with me talking about it. :)

...As I was kneeling there crying out to him, I saw him with a sword, and all over the sudden the Nations were so small, they looked like a piece of cake in a plate. With his sword he sliced the Nations in half. I asked him why he he did what he did and he said, it was a sword of judgment and he judges to redeem. He said he is redeeming a people to himself, I still did not get it and he could see it in my face so he said "I am bringing a division between the Luke warm and those who are on fire for me.

There was a season and a window of awakening where I was blowing the trumpet to awake the sleeping bride but now its a new season where I am drawing a line between those who did not only hear the call but positioned themselves in my will and those who continued sleeping and those who are still Luke warm"
So asked him and what will happen to them, what will he do with those who are still asleep?


He said there is still grace for them to catch up, but it will be tough..."I am driving the sword now, so let the sleeping sleep, let those who are sinning keep on sinning as the dark days approach, but to the awakened bride, I will make her an army, she will shine in the midst of the darkness, she is not lazy and she loves me so I will teach her figure to war and her tongue to make decrees and I will show her favor"...

After that I could only sob for my heart and the sleeping bride to hear the longing of the bride groom, to understand the urgency of the hour and to stop idolizing herself.

There is a promise "if you seek me with ALL your heart, you will find me" Jeremiah 29:13. All means All, there is great danger when we only seek him because of how he make us feel, because that is like looking for a lover to fulfill your emotional need and when satisfied you turn away until your next time of need. surely it sounds more like prostitution. The lover do not like to be used, he want loves, he gives his all and he demands our all. Why settle for a moment pleasure while he desire to be found by you, while he desire to be one with you, while he desire a relationship.

There is a call to a higher love, will you answer it?

Prayer " Abba! forgive me and awaken me to first love and consume me with your embrace in JESUS name!
In love
Ann.w

You will only know you have found him, when you can not leave without him

Hello wonderful lovers!

Since last summer I found myself in this crazy adventure with God, sometimes it feels like I am in the middle of a whirlwind with no way out, the reality of who he is, the reality of the kingdom, my understanding of love or rather lack of it been really challenged and redefined as I get to walk with love himself. Lately he has been drawing me in such passionate hunger in the sea of presence and teaching me how to go into the depth of this unending ocean and it was in finding rest while in his sea I learned to enjoy the treasures, the doors, the waves, storms and even the amazing people he has brought in my life who delight, love and dwell in the living waters.

I will share a drop of what he has been speaking into my heart, his cry for the bride that he longs for to be awakened. its a piece of my journey, where he has been exposing my weak heart in his presence, revealing any ungodly council in me and then through life and endurance, cleansing me and breaking me to reveal his glory in me and he is still doing it...

To the bride
"I am calling you to draw near to me and allow the vibration of my voice pierce the veil of your heart until your only cry is "I must have him", you have allowed the selfishness and pride of the world to dwell in your tent, the culture of "I want so I get, I am better than you because I see signs, I want to be known ..." you are storing your treasure where moth and rust  destroy and since you are full of yourself, the stench and corruption of pride blocks you from hearing my call.

Many times you are like Jacob crying out  "the lord was here and I knew it not" (Gen28:16), would you weep for your soul, that you will not miss his visitation because you were too busy chasing other lovers, would you listen to the cry on the cross, I was thirsty so they gave me bitter drink. the truth is, it was you I was thirsty for, it was you my bride I was yearning for, you were the reward that had been set before me by my father hence I endured the cross and unless your heart breaks for my love and call upon me until I come and satisfy you then you are still giving me the bitter drink of the cross."

Those born in drought don't know the refreshing of the rain,so they do not know how to ask for an outpouring, but the holy spirit who knows the mind of God leads you to prayer as he knows about the rain that you have never heard of, so in the spirit, he leads you to prayer out of your lower mind in his higher ways so that, which you know not , in his grace you will be granted.

He humbles you until the cross becomes your joy, for its only in that place you can ever find the path to the holy one, its the mystic union, how he longs to conquer our flesh and break our alabaster box, how can we be satisfied by lesser longings while there is a call to deep, embracing him alone.

You will only know you have found him, when you can not leave without him

Prayer
Papa I receive grace to let go of self so that I can have you, awaken my longings, passion and love for you Jesus!!

NONE OF YOUR SCARS CAN MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS!

What if I said none of your scars can make me love you less,
Would you still believe me?
None of your scars can make me love you less.

My perfect love for you is solid
So your imperfection don't define my love for you
 I find joy in covering all your shortcomings

Your old scars and your current wounds
Your hurts, downfall and your pains
Even in all that, I am still the Balm of Gilead

As you behold me as in the mirror
Let my scars bring healing to your scars
My cross now sings healing and wholeness in your darkness

I will never define you based on your scars
I will never call you as the world thinks of you
Will you allow me to be your one and only voice?

Your scars will never make me love you less
Your past do not threaten my plans for your future
Allow me to kiss these scars away.

MIRRORS OF FAITH

Do you trust me enough, do you really trust me with yourself, do you have to see me to believe that I am and I will do what I promised no matter how long it takes? May I remind you that I am the assurance of your hopes, I am the title deed of what have you have not seen, this should convict you of their reality before they manifest, I am FAITH (Hebrew 11)
I am the one who provoke you to believe me even when you still cannot hold, sense, touch, feel, hear, taste or see the promise. Even after you have patiently waited for “long” I strengthen you to still stand it’s not because I love to watch you suffer, NO!  I never change my mind about promises and if you choose to accept that, then you realize that the promise you are waiting for is of lesser value compared to the experience of waiting on me, in me.

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)
Faith looks like me saying yes in Gethsemane and believing even after death, I will be raised and seated at my father’s right hand, so I endured the cross
Faith looking like the father loving the world that knew him not but still gives his only son as a divine exchange to trade places so that he can restore creation to its first estate.
Faith Looks like me on the cross, arms wide open, inviting me to be mine and believing the prayers that I prayed for you in  (John17:1-5,) my father will fulfill and I will receive my spotless  bride at the wedding of the lamb no matter how she looks like now.

You have reduced me to material possession, you think I dwell with those who are wealthy by worldly standard, and you think the rich one has more faith than you do. Your material gains will never equal to your faith. I am more than that.
I am the passion that has been driving the sweet old woman in your neighborhood to contend for a revival for the last 20 years and to stand in the gap of her city even though she has occasionally being a victim of crime in the same city just because she believed me when I said I will pour out my spirit to all.  Like Abraham I count her as righteous

I am the spirit comforting Mary at the feet of the cross, when her whole life is flashing right before her: from visitation by Angel Gabriel, becoming pregnant and putting her life at risk and a promise of a son who will be given a throne and a kingdom that will never end. And even now when her dreams of Jesus becoming the king are fading right before her eyes, the promise of raising a king is looking back at her as a man dying a criminal death, , I am the voice, reminding her of the evidence not yet seen, that it was written in Isaiah 53 that  he will die such death but that is not the end of his story.
I said you are seated with me in heavenly places and you are! Now would you allow me to be the stairway that you use to enter in my presence until you learn to dwell there and become a pillar that can never be moved? In the place of stillness, will you allow me to seat with you patiently until you see him face to face?
 
I have promised to never leave you nor forsake you, but would you still believe me when you end up in prison because of me? would you deny me and turn back to the wider and popular route or just like Paul would you be quick to realize it is not about you, but you have been found worthy to embrace the glory revealed after your sufferings (1 Pet 4:12-13) and  I will grace you to worship in your prison and when all the prison doors open and captives are set free, then you will know it was never about you but a fulfillment of Isaiah 58.

What about when faced with fire, that situation you are now facing that you think you cannot stand and face, the impossible situation. When soon you will be challenged to compromise your faith to accommodate political fantasies  would you allow me to be the boldness  inside of you  like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego believing that I will rescue you and if I don’t, you will still choose to  stand for the truth like they did?. When you see Jesus walking in the blazing furnace with you, and the fire not consuming you, then you will realize it was not about you, it was a Governmental walk you had just been invited by the councils to walk in, and because you obeyed, decree will be changed by kings because of you to the glory of God ~( Daniel 3:16-30)

And if I don’t turn up in the fire or when you are been stoned will you look up like Stephen full of the Holy Spirit and see the glory of God and Jesus standing at the right hand of God?  If you do this then I [faith] becomes a fulfilled.
 Because it is on beholding him that you become, it is when you see him face to face that you realize he was the promise, you become awakened to the reality of Christ in you the hope of glory, Faith become you because in him you become like him.

You realize in all struggles and trials, the I AM was present, he was waiting for you to engage him as the answers to your questions, the healer of your soul, the provider of your house hold, he wanted to be a friend, in the times of waiting, he wanted to introduce you to glory where time does not matter in the presence of the king, he wanted to be the way where you found none. I become the song that Noah sings when building the Ark in the midst of drought and in that song I sustain him and heal his soul from the abuse of those who gave up on waiting for 120 years for the rain.

In all this mirrors of life, I [faith] anoints you with hope to wait, because in the waiting I strengthen you, in the waiting I call you to myself, if you can only learn how to dance in all seasons. Mirrors of faith are me standing before you inviting you to behold me in every situation, for in doing so you become that. As you behold my mirror as your righteousness you become that and then I hold you as that for the world to see.  When you behold me as your warrior king, I train you to be that, and then you stand in the gap and war for nations.

 When you consider your present sufferings, remember they are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in you. I will teach you how to fight the good fight of faith by taking hold of eternal life which I called you to when you said YES to me. (Romans 8:17 1 Timothy 6:12).

And for all the times you have chosen to stand in the midst of your trials and persecution, you chose to trust me and for that I call you righteous one because of your faith. As I am of the evidence of things not seen, I am calling you to be partaker of the unseen. Allow me to be the door you walk through to the unseen, the heavenly realm, where everything is yes and Amen, the door that Enoch and others have walked through, where you’re the glory becomes revealed in you and around you and everything else fades away.

  xxx

Ann Wangari 

Whats on my mind?!!

After opening my Facebook account and reading the tedious question that calls for statues update, I 
could not help but came up with this answer a few months ago.


"Burning hands longing for a piece of paper ready to melt into a poetic flow of heavens love and my fathers kiss. 
In him I behold and like a mirror I see me in him and the more I gaze the more I know I am nothing without him.
In his eyes, my gaze is lost as I try to comprehend how such an intense lover can, like a dove be ever so faithful and so loving, 
and as I try to struggle with my "why"s" once again I am reminded that the mortal me will never fully fathom the uncreated one.
And its in that posture when he pulls me in his arms, covers me with a blanket of love, seal me with a song and whisper in my ears " You are mine and my desires are for you·"