Life on my lips

From my journal encounters (AM)

Standing before the table of life, as he extend not the cup, but himself for me to drink and eat

How privileged am I;to the disciples he lifted the cup, blessed it and said this is my blood drink.

But to me, he now becomes the cup lifted up on the cross for me to forever approach him

In this place, he takes me back to the previous experience;The garden of Gethsemane. 

Where he is sweating blood and water and I wondered should I drink of this one today?

Few times he has allowed me to meet him in that state: the man of sorrow crying to his father

But now he takes me back at the table, the table of life where he feeds me:meat and wine mixed by wisdom

The sovereign one! although he lives in me, my lips as I eat and drink him is are forever reminded 

HE IS THE REASON FOR LIFE, BECAUSE HE IS THE LIFE!   

Waiting room

In the corridors of time, is the waiting room of unanswered prayers. I will wait and I will be still in this waiting room, for in this seat, you soothe my soul with your still small voice as you teach my spirit how to wage war and take dominion. In stillness, time looses power to mock me in my waiting. for waiting is no longer a time wasting command but a spiritual disposition that I continuously hold to throughout the process of my involvement in my father's business. 
So dear time, in the corridors of unanswered prayers, I am the one who will make mockery of you. For I don't wait as one who is lost, but one who understands that to wait, is to learn how to seek and listen, to wait is part of the journey and as I wait patiently in him who created and governs you, then in him I will learn to govern you also with transcended mind.
~be still and know~ those who wait, he shall renew strength~ I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry~
Ann Wangari.

WHEN...

Cup

The agony and ecstasy of love, to embrace them is to embrace him...
"are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink? " Mat 20:22

In the garden

Face to face in your gardens I come. lets us go to the fields and browse among the lilies!

Let us taste the nectar of tulips and respond to the songs of the trees and mountains with a dance.

Let us run to the mountains of spice and roll down until the infusion of the scents becomes one with our garments.

let us run to the fountain; lead me to your deeps. The river flowing beneath your fathers throne

perhaps we can whisper his name and wait as our echo is heard from beneath sea glass?

Lets us hold hands, drink the ancient wine from this vineyard and shout the majestic name of your father, my father from the Zion mountain.

Your name,a perfume poured out to nations, let it pour like rain right now, right here as you hold me.I love the taste of it

The bright morning star, you have  tenderized my heart with your countenance.love awakened is heart surrendered to love himself.

You my love, in your garden you have won my heart forever!

Yours Ann.W

© 2004 Ann Wangari   

BEFORE ME

If every human being will stand before you as every knee  bow and every tongues confess  as they  give accounts of their deeds on that day. Why don't I just live like its that day?, before you!

My motives,attitude,every breath and even my flesh dead before your feet

Like David I will say, "I saw the Lord always before me" 

Every heart beat will be a reflection of your heart; I can only reflect what I choose to behold

When you become the mirror before me, then doctrines or laws of men will never define my standard of living

For your holiness, your love, your fire, your passion and the zeal for your fathers house will be my plumb line

when I see your face on that day, it will not be the first time I will be seen it,but it will be more glorious

When you seat in your judgment seat, I will be glad!because you had already graciously  given me a place to stand with those who stand in your courts like you promised Zechariah and taught me how you judge in righteousness

I will be glad because, when I have you before me; like David you "Search me,  and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." and in your paths you teach me the joy of delighting in your fear. 

For to live having you before me is to manifest eternity, To manifest eternity is to take dominion of time  

I can only look through your eyes for a time and then like an open door walk right through you

Inside of you,I move, live and have my being. Inside of you; heaven is here,right now

Intimacy, your greatest command[to love you with all my heart mind and soul] keep my in first love lane,

And as you make me into that [Yada]. ooh that you will give me the grace and your heart to love the creation

So when I stand before you in the fullness of time, you would have transformed me into your glorious image 

And it will be worth it!  

2 Corinthians 3:18~Zechariah 3:7~Zechariah 4:10~Acts 17:28 ~Philippians 2:10~Psalm 139:23~

"(c) 2014 Ann Wangari" 

"GOD WILL NOT GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE" Really?

“God will not give you more than you can not handle” Once again pausing a moment in time to ponder on this phrase that is more taunting than comforting.Unlearning the customs of men through the lenses of the word and the danger that comes with building yourself up with what culture has build as truth. The painful reality is that first this phrase that I myself have quoted so many times is not biblical and second it provides a force hope to those who run in its shadow for it denies us the need to recognize and identify with our weakness.

If I can handle it, then I am in control and I do not need faith and I do not need God's strength in my weakness. This phrase is normally confused with Paul's writing on temptation “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

There is difference between temptation and suffering. In our temptation, there is a promise for a way out so we always have a choice to walk out through the way provided or engage with the temptation before us.

But with the suffering that promise of escape is always not there, however the fruits of suffering and enduring to the end are greater.(Romans 5:3-5).  In Matthew we meet Jesus admitting his weakness in suffering  “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (26:38). But he knows that the promise stand, even when his soul can not handle it, the spirit will raise him up and seat him with  the father as promised.

When we recognize that we have more than we can handle, then we find pure joy in our suffering, because we are no longer working to “handle” it with our own strength, but trusting that Christ in us will be glorified in the victory but not glorifying ourselves because we could handle it.

 

It is sad listening to this quotes been used to encourage people who are going through such great suffering, hearing a mother with a sick child or a person who is in bed sick  been quoted for  “God will not give you more than you can not handle” or even “God helps those who help themselves”  is just ridiculous. I have observed on reaction of such words and often you find the “victims” to react by saying “I am fine” but the soul is screaming out for help, a hand to hold on to, someone to offer practical help. and often the consequences of this is, it provides a re-way for the encouraging to walks away believing they have done all they could and now God will do his part while the one suffering is left traumatized with more questions than answers and no one to talk to because “they can handle it”  hence resulting to believing a lie and bitterness.

Contrary to this, the word  teaches us that when were are weak he is our strength so in your greatest suffering you are weak so get over that fact that you can handle it because you can not and recognize the need to surrender to the one who can. secondly Isaiah 25:4 and Romans 5:6 shows you that, he do help the weak not “...those help themselves”.

The reality in this is the revelation that sufferings and trials  will come but our hope is not in ourselves or our strength, our faith is the one who can handle it all for he is the author and the finisher and the joy of knowing that we can trust in him

Paul says “ For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many”. (2cor1)

This afflictions were not just for Paul, people around the world are going through this,sometimes it is even our neighbors “burdened beyond their strength and despaired of life itself” feeling like they are in death sentence, but what we learn from him is this makes us not rely on ourselves but on Abba who raises the dead and we must take it upon ourselves to not quote some of these crazy phrases but to encourage them with the word and fervently pray and comfort them in affliction “with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.(2cor1:4)

Once again it is a reminder that love paid for it all, it is gazing upon the cross and seen the victory of all things in Christ Jesus who is in us, It is a lifestyle of leaning on Jesus to accomplish the impossible~ those things that you can not handle~ but developing intimacy with one who can keeps you grounded, it is the vulnerability of learning to say I am burdened beyond strength to your kingdom family with no shame and knowing that it is okay like Moses to have Joshua hold your hand when your strength is failing.